There’s a difference between understanding how homes are built and living through building your own. On paper, I thought I had an advantage. I understood costs, financing, trade sequencing, risk. I’ve spent my career around it. But walking through it personally changed my perspective. Because building a custom home isn’t just a project. It’s a series of decisions that shape how your family lives every single day. If I could go back and talk to myself before starting, this is what I would say.

Financing Isn’t Just a Step—It’s a Strategy 
Most people treat financing like a box to check. It’s not.

The structure you choose, whether it’s a one-time close or another option, impacts: 

• Your level of certainty 
• Your exposure to rate changes 
• How smooth (or stressful) the process feels 

But even more important than the product is the person.

Choose the Right Lender 
Outside of your builder, your lender is your most important partner.
The right one:

• Communicates clearly 
• Understands construction timelines 
• Moves quickly when needed 
• Solves problems instead of creating them 

The wrong one will add friction to nearly every step. Don’t just shop for the lowest rate, shop for the right partner. 

Don’t Rush the Site Plan—You’ll Live With It Every Day 

One of the easiest mistakes to make is rushing through the site plan, but this is one of the most permanent decisions you’ll make. 
Your house will be there forever. 

Where it sits on the lot.
How the driveway flows.
Where the sun hits in the afternoon.
How you experience your backyard.

Take your time to walk the property. Stand where your back porch will be. Think about how it feels, not just how it looks on paper.
Make sure it’s exactly how you want it. 

Plan Thoughtfully, But Don’t Overcomplicate the Future 
There’s a natural tension in this process.
You want to make smart decisions now that won’t cost you later…but you don’t want to overthink every possible future scenario.
The balance matters. 

Be thoughtful: 

• If you might want a pool, generator, or additional structure later, think about it now 
• Running utilities or making small accommodations upfront can save significant cost later 

But don’t let the future overwhelm the present. 

One of the best pieces of advice I received:
“Don’t overthink 20 years from now. Focus on what you need today, you’ll handle the rest later.” 

That mindset takes pressure off. You don’t need to solve everything right now, you just need to make good, thoughtful decisions for the life you’re living. 

Site Work Will Surprise You (If You Let It) 
One of the biggest learning moments for me was how much the site itself matters.

In our case:

• The property had been used as a dumping site
• We had to excavate several feet and backfill (adding cost)
• Our plan didn’t naturally fit the topography
• The driveway required significant build-up due to elevation 

Then layer in utilities: 

• Water 
• Gas 
• Sewer 
• Electrical 

These aren’t small details. They’re real drivers of cost and complexity. Lean on your Building Consultant and your Superintendent. They’ve seen things you haven’t, and their guidance here is invaluable. 

Don’t Fight for Small Savings at the Expense of Daily Living 
Fight the urge to pinch pennies. Be wise. Be disciplined. Save where it doesn’t matter. 

But this is your home. This is where your life happens. 

Create something you love living in. 

Create something that feels right when you walk through the door. 

Because the reality is:
Most of these decisions don’t materially change your financial future. But they do shape your daily experience and they’re the ones you feel every single day. 

Not Everything That Matters Has an ROI 
It’s easy to approach this process like every decision needs to be optimized. Cost. Rate. Timing. Return.

But one of the most important realizations I had: Not everything that matters in building a home can be measured financially. 

For me, that became very real. I left an interest rate below 3%. Today, I’m in a higher rate environment. 

And yet what we gained doesn’t show up on a spreadsheet:

• A home where my wife, Kathryne, and my boys, Greyson and Baylen, race to get back to each day
• A place that feels like peace the moment we walk in
• Being surrounded by family
• Watching my kids grow up outside, playing in the woods, getting dirty, just being kids
• Sitting on the back patio with my wife, talking over a cup of coffee
• Opening our home to others—hosting, gathering, building relationships
• Creating space for what actually matters—faith, conversations, connection 

Those are the returns that matter most. 
They’re not easy to quantify. But they’re the ones you feel every single day. 

Enjoy It—This Is Bigger Than a House 
This may be the most important thing I can say: Enjoy the process. 

It’s easy to get caught up in decisions, timelines, and trying to get everything “right.” 
But don’t miss what’s actually happening. 

You’re not just building a home, you’re building an experience your family will remember forever. 

There are very few seasons in life where you get to watch something this meaningful come to life: piece by piece, week by week. Be present in it. 

Some of the best things we did: 

• Brought our kids to slab pour day 
• Wrote scripture verses on the framing 
• Put our last name on the back patio 
• Took weekly pictures from the same spot 
• Those moments matter. 
• They create a story.

You’re Not Just Building a Home—You’re Managing Cash Flow 

Most people think in terms of total price. 

Builders think in terms of cash flow timing. 

Those are not the same thing. 

A custom build involves: 

• Draw schedules 
• Inspection triggers 
• Lender approvals 
• Timing gaps between work completed and funds released 

Even well-qualified buyers can feel pressure if expectations aren’t aligned. 

What I wish I fully appreciated:

It’s not the total cost that creates stress—it’s the timing. 

When funds are expected, when they’re released, and how that lines up with progress on the home. 

Practical takeaway: 

• Understand your draw process in detail 
• Know what triggers each draw 
• Be aware of timing—not just totals 

When you understand the flow, the entire process feels more controlled. 

Final Thoughts

If I could sum it up in one line: The goal isn’t to build the most optimized home. It’s to build the right home—for your life, your family, and what matters most. 

If you keep that perspective, you won’t just build a house. 

You’ll build something that truly feels like home. 

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